If you’ve read any of my recent Marvel reviews then you will already know that I have become completely disillusioned with the franchise as a whole, even to the point where I don’t even care about spoilers anymore – which is a huge deal for me – yet I still find myself trudging into the cinema for the latest release and as I am sitting down trying to write my review of Thor: Love and Thunder I am finding it incredibly difficult to separate my thoughts on the film from my thoughts of the Marvel Cinematic Universe as a whole. So consider this as something of a personal disclaimer, I would like to think my negative opinions of this film is due to this disillusionment but in all honesty I also believe that Thor: Love and Thunder is just a genuinely bad film. One of Marvel’s worst in fact.
After the dust of the events of Endgame settled, we saw Tess Thompson’s Valkyrie step up to rule New Asgard as Thor embarked on a journey of self-reflection and self-healing with the boulder-built softie Korg and their newfound besties, the Guardians of the Galaxy. Their inclusion in this film is a little lack-lustre, important in the fact that it serves the dual purpose of explaining the return of Thor’s “God-bod” as well as his separation from the group (presumably in preparation for GOTG 3), but not interesting or original enough to act as anything more than glorified cameos masquerading as important plot points.
* I did warn you about my impending negativity – sorry *
After Thor receives a distress signal from Lady Sif, he learns of Gorr the God Butcher (Christian Bale), the film’s main protagonist and only good thing about the film, who is traversing the shadows of the cosmos taking out Gods left, right and centre with a weapon known as the Necro-sword in a twisted yet kind of entirely justifiable mission to avenge his daughter, and New Asgard is next on his hit list.
The film is so bad I would use Eternity’s Wish to erase it from existence.
Up until this point the film is already super cheesy but in a ‘Ragnarok dialed up to eleven kind of way’ – annoying but manageable – unfortunately it all goes down hill very quickly from here as Thor arrives at New Asgard just as Gorr and his shadow monsters are terrorising the town. He jumps into the fray with his trusty boulder sidekick to save the day but there’s a new hero in town in the shape of Thor’s former flame, Dr. Jane Foster, all kit-and-caboodled out with a cape, CGI muscles and a reconstructed Mjolnir.
Thor, Jane, Korg and Valkryie win the battle but Gorr kidnaps all the town’s children, including Heimdall’s son Axl (where the f$%k did he come from??) who has inherited the gifts of his father. Thor mind-links with Axl and figures out that Gorr has the children captive in the Shadow Realm, a place where is power will be at its strongest. In need of help, the group head to Omnipotence City where the who’s who of Gods reside to ask Zeus for an army to help defeat Gorr. But it turns out Zeus is a dick – who’d have guessed it – and the fearless four must proceed alone.
Blah, blah, blah – I’m bored just writing this drivel and the film is so bad I would use Eternity’s Wish to erase it from existence. Anyway, Thor saves the day. Love conquers all. Christian Bale deserves better. Cancer is a bitch.
